Don't Forget Me

Yesterday Emerge Global's new Country Director Rachael Pool was introduced to our girls in Sri Lanka, and it turned into one of the most hectic, emotional workshops she could have visited.

Hectic because the workshop wasn't run like normal. We are about to change the workshop bead colors from Spring/Summer to Fall/Winter, so instead of handing out new beads we only collected products, and asked the girls to finish up their current supplies before next week. Hence Rachael didn't get to see the Emerge Store and Bank in action.

Emotional because we found out about one girl who had left, two more that would be leaving within the next week, and the girls found out that I would be leaving in a little less than two months.

Nirukshi, Emerge's Bead Program Coordinator, and I organized a birthday party (my birthday was the day before, July 12th) for the girls, complete with balloons, noisemakers, cake, and "buns" (i.e. burgers) from McDonald's that Nirukshi had gotten for free by filling out 20 comment cards. Rachael was introduced as the new Country Director, with Nirukshi explaining that I would be leaving in the near future. As soon as this was said the mood in the room changed, with two girls beginning to cry. It broke my heart to see them unhappy, and also forced me to think about leaving in a way that I had subconsciously been avoiding.

The party was overall a success: the girls loved their buns and party favors, and I even followed the Sri Lankan tradition of feeding everyone, including Nirukshi and Rachael, a bite of cake.

Things became more serious again towards the end of the workshop when one of the girls told me she would be leaving to go home within the week. Tears were streaming down her face when she looked at me and said "Ellen Miss, don't forget me." I pointed to her, and then to my heart. "I won't." When the Emerge team piles into the car to leave Ma Sevana the girls will usually wave us goodbye. Today this certain girl kept waving until we were out of sight, not breaking eye contact with me until the gate closed behind Nirukshi's car and we were back on the road.

After visiting Ma Sevana we usually stop by the Vocational Training Center (VTC) where many past program participants learn English, computers, how to sew, and other useful vocations. When we arrived, we were told that another one of our girls was going home. In her case, she was being sent to an aunt's house, and she looked worried and scared when she spoke about her uncertain future. She had been living away from her family, and society, for over four years. And for the second time that day I heard "Don't forget me."

I've become so intertwined in these girls lives that it's hard to imagine not remembering them. But many times, like this afternoon, I realize they are more realistic and grounded than I am. I came to Sri Lanka with the hope that I could make their lives better, and I'd like to think I have. But at the end of the day, these girls know that while people come, they also leave. And where I am going none of them will be able to follow. It's something that hits me hard, to think of these girls as sisters and realize that they will never visit me, and that if I am to see them again it is my responsibility to get myself back to Sri Lanka. "Don't forget me." They say this because not forgetting is my responsibility. They understand that between the both of us I'm the one who is moving on, who will have the capacity, and ability, to forget.

The Emerge Lanka Foundation Exists!

Yesterday I received the official documents from the Sri Lanka Registrar of Companies that approved Emerge Lanka Foundation as a charitable company (company number GA2271). This approval is the culmination of my work in Sri Lanka, and very fittingly arrived two hours before Emerge's new Sri Lanka Country Director did.

When I arrived to Sri Lanka in late-August of 2008, I realized that we needed to formalize and standardize our Bead Program before we would be ready to expand to other homes or projects. Hence I developed our Bead Program curriculum framework, which subsequent Emerge team members worked on implementing, improving, and building upon.

After spending most of 2008 working on the Bead Program, 2009 was the year of the legal entity. As the curriculum was being developed, I concluded that before we tried to roll out the Bead Program to other locations, we needed legal standing. While it would be possible to continue partnering with preexisting organizations, if we wanted to have the impact that Alia, the Emerge team, and I envisioned, we would need some kind of leverage. And that leverage would come with becoming an official organization, and having the ability to operate in Sri Lanka on our own.

In January I began the quest of forming Emerge Lanka Foundation, a local charitable company that would be tied to Emerge Global in the USA. My first several weeks were spent trying to identify a lawyer who could help navigate the legal system. I was introduced to Sumi through a friend-of-a-friend, and it has been one of my most serendipitous finds in Sri Lanka. Sumi is a smart, savvy, and powerful woman. She doesn't take no for an answer, and problem solves incredibly well on the fly, two things that are required to get anything done in Sri Lanka. In our first several meetings her determination and dedication were evident, and from that point on Sumi and I were a team, working together with the same goal of becoming an approved charitable company.

The process was long, with lots of roadblocks along the way. Letters of support we were promised were rescinded. Legal documents that had been approved were denied. Forms that were submitted were sent back because it was decided entries should written in all CAPS. Setting up Emerge Lanka Foundation has been an incredible learning experience. I've learned how to work with all kinds of people and come to solutions that are mutually beneficial for both of us. How to stay calm and not get flustered even when things seem unfair. And most of all, how to laugh at the absurdity of situations (and people) and keep on going regardless.

Our work isn't finished. Next we'll be establishing a local bank account, speaking with Inland Revenue about tax exemptions on VAT and import/export duties, and setting up our accounting systems to name a few. But at this point, all I want to do is share my excitement, and tears of joy, with all of you. So join in my elation, and throw a mini Emerge party wherever you are!

My Birthday Wish

My birthday is coming up on June 12th, and instead of getting me, or not getting me, anything I would love if you would donate to Emerge Global on my behalf. I've set up a fundraising goal on facebook, and you can find it by following this link. Alternatively, you can donate through our JustGive site.

I really appreciate all the love and support I've received from you all in regards to my work with Emerge. And thank you for helping to make this halfway around the world birthday a very special one.

Eating With My Hands

Four days ago Emerge Global was featured on the front page of ColomboPage, a Sri Lankan internet newspaper. With the title "A beaded necklace can transform the life of a troubled teen in Sri Lanka," the article is a beautifuly written tribute to the work that Emerge Global is doing in Sri Lanka. I met the author, Chandrani, when I was back in the United States in August of 2008 and when I found out she would be visiting Sri Lanka, along with her family, I was excited to meet up with them again.

Apparently my love of Sri Lankan cuisine, and the process of eating it with my hands, left a lasting impression. One of the most enjoyable things about living in Sri Lanka has been learning about and immersing myself in the local culture. The point of traveling is to learn and try something new, so trying to eat with my hands always made sense. I have to say I still don't have the technique mastered, and eating string hoppers with your hands is much easier than rice and curry. Regardless, I'm glad that my attempts at cultural acclimation were noticed. Ironically enough, the same day this article was published a matron and nurse at Ma Sevana teased me (in Sinhala, so Nirukshi had to translate) about my inability to eat with my hands correctly. After that, this article was a nice confidence-builder.

China's Gao Kao

Last summer I spent three weeks traveling through China. A portion of that time was spent teaching students at Qidong (pronounced "Chee-dong") Middle School about leadership and globalization via the MIT China Development Initiative.


Being a part of CDI was an enlightening experience. As I began to grow closer with the students, and particular those I was paired up with to mentor, I became increasingly depressed and dismayed with their situations. My kids told me about the pressure they felt to study endlessly in order to perform well on the Gao Kao. Before coming to China I had never heard of the Gao Kao, or "Great Test," and after learning about it I thank God I was never subjected to such an exam. The Gao Kao is the SAT on crack, and is used to score a student's intelligence and aptitude, with the caveat that your Gao Kao score will 100% determine which schools you are allowed to apply for. Don't get above a certain score? Say goodbye to applying to Peking University or Tsinghua University, the respective Harvard and MIT of China. The U.S. higher institution definition of a well-rounded student doesn't fly in China, and after talking to my students about the U.S. admissions process (how the SAT is just one small part of our application), they seemed both awed and slightly morose in regards to their system.

I was reminded twice of these memories early this week. First, one of my mentees Zoe (see photo below) emailed me in despair from her cell phone (she doesn't have access to the Internet) in regards to the National College Entrance Examination. The second was an article run in the New York Times entitled "China’s College Entry Test Is an Obsession."

Zoe was one of the students who started out the program very shy and soft spoken, and by the end was presenting on world leaders to the head of Qidong Middle School in a room filled with 40 students. My aim in this post isn't to criticize the Chinese education system or congratulate the U.S. one. They are two models with two very different aims. It is simply to share how sad I am by the capabilities, leadership and otherwise, that I saw in Zoe and in so many other young students I met at Qidong that will be, and already have been, lost. How they can feel levels of stress and depression that I would not wish upon anyone. And how at a time when these kids should be being ... well kids, they feel like they're in prison. All in the name of a test.

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to: "ellen.sojka"
date: Sat, Jun 6, 2009 at 8:39 PM
subject: Zoe's life

Allen, How are you?I don't know if you still remember me.Last August you came to China.In a middle school,you and some Mit students start a program.I want to keep in touch with you but I don't have any access to Internet.This time I try my cell phone though I'm not sure if the email will reach you.Since you left I have been back to regular school life.That means spending almost 16hours in the terrible and boring classroom.Sometimes I feel depressed because I can't stand the pressure. I am too tired of the school life and the endless homework.Tomorrow is the national college entrance examination day.Although it's not my turn,I feel nervous and worried.Next year I will experience that.If I don't get good marks,that means I can't be admitted to a good university and I spend 12 years studying in vain.The competition is fierce because of the large population.Recently one of my friendes has gone to America.He was in a open school,not a traditional school like mine.He stopped his lessons several months ago and went to a TOEFL class.Later he took SAT and got a good result.How I wish I could make it too.Most time in school,we sit and bury myself in the endless work.I'm sleepy all the time and feel like I'm in prison. So sometimes I think of the time we spent together.I do miss it.Well what about you now?Still in Sri Lanka?I'm looking foryard to your reply. Best wishes, Zoe